Ahoy me hearties! We've waded into the letters M for MILFs and Microcheating while N is for NSA - No Strings Attached and NBM - Never Been Married. So fasten the main brace and  hoist your petards as we set sail through stormy waters, repelling all boarders! And remember - why is pirates called pirates? Because they Aaaarrrr!

Featuring first mate Tinder Girl (@girl_tinder) and our new stateside scribe and able semen (are you sure that's how you spell it? Ed.) Tinderhella (@Tinderhella1) alongside our Mistress of the watch (a Rolex of course) Siobhan (@shoobmac). All of them kept in check by Captain Jon (@voiceofsiri) who's hoping  that his tincture of testosterone can stand up to the ocean of oestrogen ahead.

If you'd like to ask the team a question or propose a Profile for us to pick on - then write to us  at askdateadvisor@gmail.com