Main Idea: To lead yourself well, you must know yourself. You must have a true foundation, and increasing grasp of self-awareness. Typically we have one overdeveloped, over-obsessed pillar, and two that are almost completely unformed.
Pillar One: Who Are You?
Are you lying to yourself about what could potentially destroy you?
Are you shaking off, or actively combating, truths that are uncomfortable?
What energizes you? What depletes you? What’s your natural rhythms
Personality Testing: DISC, Enneagram, Leading from your strengths.
We try to operate in other people’s gifting because we see the impact it has clearer than we can see the impact of our own gifting.
Emotional Intelligence component of who you are.
Question: “What’s it like to be on the other side of me?”
Only when we know what we’re made of and what we want to make of it can we begin our lives. Bennis
Warren Bennis on how to know yourself
1) You are your own best teacher
2) Accept responsibility. Blame no one.
3) You can learn anything you want to learn.
4) True understanding comes from reflecting on your experience.
Pillar Two: What do you want
This is one aspect of self-leadership that is almost completely unformed. People set out to be leaders, without knowing why.
“No leader sets out to be a leader. People set out to live their lives, expressing themselves fully. When that expression is of value, they become leaders. So the point is not to become a leader. The point is to become yourself, to use yourself completely-all your skills, gifts, and energies- in order to make your vision manifest.” Warren Bennis.
Reflection: I don’t think that’s true, many people set out to be a leader.
Mercenary Leader or Visionary Leader
Mercenary: Developing and deploying skills to whatever seems the most interesting and pays the most.
Visionary: The person who becomes a leader, develops what is needed, in pursuit of a vision they desperately want to accomplish.
Mercenary Leaders bail early.
The 2nd Habit of Highly Effective People from Stephen Covey, “Begin with the end in mind”.
The first element of leadership is having a guiding vision. Bennis
Aspect of it, plan, “You’re either going to be proactive or reactive- without a plan, you have a much greater probability of getting ‘off purpose’.” Harkavy
Pillar Three: Are you willing to do what is necessary to get there?
Angela Duckworth, “Grit is the combination of passion and perseverance…that is a stronger predictor of high-achievement than intelligence, talent and other personality traits.”
My belief: People over-obsess on personality tests, don’t really have a good idea of what they want to accomplish, and bail at the first sign of difficulty. The third pillar of self-awareness must be an awareness of “are you willing to do what is necessary to get there?”
Many men want to be president, few want to do president. Steven Sample
Metaphor of knowing if you can get there. Count the cost
The difference between where you are and where you want to be is the pain you’re willing to endure. Sam Chand
“A leader should always act as if he himself, not history or fate, is responsible for his actions.” Steven Sample