Hello, my beautiful Goddess, and welcome to another episode of Dating for the Romantic Goddess.
In today's episode, we are going to talk about how to cultivate your divine feminine energy.
The reality of the situation is that we live in a masculine energy, orientated society.
We are expected to be in our masculine energy 24 hours a day.
Since the minute that you wake up is go, go go rushing to work.
Fighting your way into the tube station, fighting your way through traffic to make it to work.
Then all jobs in general, not all of them, of course, but all jobs, office jobs, or corporate jobs are based on a masculine energy model.
So you are expected to be in your masculine energy all the time. You are expected to compete with your colleagues.
There is no sense of teamwork and collaboration.
It's all; even though some offices say there is teamwork, the reality of, it is not; this is all competition.
Everyone wants to get to the top, and that's the reality.
So in an ideal world, you wouldn't have to cultivate your feminine energy because, as a woman, feminine energy is something that comes naturally to you.
But because it's been beaten out of us, most of us have consciously chosen not to be on our feminine energy because society has not made us feel safe in our feminine energy.
Then it's something that you have to be now very aware of and very consciously cultivate your feminine energy to go back to your authentic self, to go back to who you are supposed to be in the first place and stop pretending to be something that you are not.
In the 90s, we received all these toxic messages from the media, TV, television shows, and movies saying, Oh, we can do it like a man, we can go out there and be like men, and sure, you can.
But just because you can, it doesn't mean that you should or that you have to or do you even want to?
Like you thought that you have to.
But the reality is that you don't; if you grow up in a dysfunctional household, being in your feminine is 100% not safe.
And if you have been in an abusive relationship, then been in your feminine, it's also never been safe.
So if you have not felt safe being in your feminine, I don't blame you for it.
But also, at the same time, the reality is that if women don't take time to be on their feminine as well as their masculine, they will suffer mentally, emotionally, and physically. We now know that the emotions live in the body.
And if you continue to repress your femininity and you continue to suppress your emotions, your physical body will stuffer and your mental state will manifest in your physical state.
And, of course, not everyone is going to agree because there will be a small percentage of you that says, but I want to, and that's totally okay.
You know, it's your choice.
If this is the way you want to be and how you want to lead your life, that's perfectly fine.
As long as it's a conscious choice that you are aware of and you consciously choose to live like this.
But I know that living like this is going to cost you, is going to be more effort, is going to be more stressful, and you can achieve the same, if not more, by being in your feminine energy.
So if you fall under the category of those ladies that love feminine energy as I do and want to be on your feminine energy, but it's not something that you learned growing up or is something that was beaten out of you, then you're in the right place.
We're going to talk about how you can cultivate your feminine energy so that you go back to the truth of who you are, you know, being in your natural state of being.
And, of course, I'm a feminine energy coach.
If you are interested in this topic, I invite you to join the love school where I teach, guide and coach my ladies on how to live a feminine energy lifestyle and, more in particular feminine energy dating.
So today, to cultivate your divine feminine energy, I'm going to give you a few tips so that you can follow a few guidelines to cultivate your feminine energy and be more feminine.
Okay. So let's get started.
1 Love yourself
But I'm not saying love yourself as in having a bubble bath. No, that's not the kind of love that I want you to have for yourself.
I want you to love yourself at a very deep level.
I want you to love yourself at a soul level.
I want you to love yourself at a spiritual level where you work from the inside out, and everything that is in your soul will manifest outwards. It will reflect in your actions, in your energy, in the way that you treat yourself, in the way that you conduct yourself, in the way that you behave yourself in the way that you allow others to teach you.
It will manifest in your feminine energy and reflect on your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence.
And, of course, this will result in you having a bubble bath, but you don't love yourself beginning with the bubble baths.
But the bubble bath will be the manifestation of you loving yourself, the by-product of loving yourself.
All the advice out there is for you to do the outer work.
So I am going to be the coach that is going to guide you into doing your inner work first.
It's great if you do both
it's great if you start from the inner.
It's not so great if you just do the outer work because the outer work is not going to lead to you finding your soulmate.
It takes a longer time as well when you do it that way.
And also, it will lead to self-sabotaging behaviour because, obviously, you are not ready internally to do an action. Then you try to do the action, then you will sell sabotage somehow, especially if being in your feminine has not felt safe in the past.
When you then try to do the outer work, the outer action of becoming feminine, like dressing up wearing a beautiful dress, you will self-sabotage somehow.
And this is what happened to me. It was impossible to wear a nice dress because I didn't love myself.
I thought that I was huge.
I thought that I looked horrible.
And even though I wore the dresses, I would self-sabotage with my behaviour because I didn't feel comfortable. I didn't feel safe. It felt very awkward.
So it works better if you do the inner work and work your way Outwards.
2 Make yourself your number one priority.
And when I say make yourself your number one priority, I mean this even if you're married and even if you have Children and especially if you've got Children and especially if you are a single mom.
So whatever every situation is, make yourself a number one priority.
I want you to think of yourself. I want you to think of your life like your life is a movie.
Do you remember the movie, The Holiday?
I always loved this example because it really touched my heart when I watched the movie the Holiday with Kate Winslet, and she is having dinner with Arthur, and Arthur says to her, you are living your life like the supporting actress; you are being the best friend in the movie.
You need to be the leading lady of your own life.
So I want you to live your life like you are the leading lady, and the leading lady is the most important person in the movie, and it is your job to make your leading lady happy to make her a priority.
.
The leading lady's children are not the star of the movie; the husband is not the star of the movie.
The leading lady is the star of the movie; it is your job, your priority, to make her happy and to prioritise her in everything.
This is especially if you are an empath; this is going to be, it's going to have its challenges. I get it. I'm an empath as well. It didn't come to me naturally to do this.
So I love this hack: it's like continuing to think about your life as a movie, and you are going to position yourself outside of yourself.
So you are not the leading lady anymore. You are the director of the movie.
So the director of the movie's job is to make the leading lady happy as well.
It is his job to make her look good on camera; it is his job to, you know, get the best out of the leading lady.
You can also make yourself the screenwriter of the movie.
So you're going to write the script, and you're going to decide how the story is going to go for your leading lady.
You have the power to do that, and you have the power to prioritise her with everything.
You are the makeup artist of the leading lady.
You are going to get your leading lady the best wardrobe.
You're going to be the wardrobe manager, and she's going to look amazing.
She's going to have the best hair; she's going to have the best makeup.
This is your job.
And if you think about it, empaths are the best project managers in the world.
In fact, many of my empath friends, previous jobs and careers were project managers, and this is hilarious because this is the job I want you to do exactly, but for you, instead of doing it, for other people, I want you to do it for yourself. So you're going to be your own project manager, and you're going to be your own project. Your job is to make your subject your leading lied to succeed at all levels.
So this is the best way that I can give you in like two minutes about making yourself a priority without making yourself feel guilty.
3 Make allowing and receiving your priority.
Make allowing and receiving your priority as well.
We already talked about allowing on one of our previous episodes.
So you're going to make allowing a priority. You already knew that, but also you're going to make receiving a priority.
Of course, the reason why we allow is so that we can receive.
Masculine energy is giving energy, and feminine energy is receiving energy.
So the more that you allow and the more that you allow yourself to receive, the more feminine you will become and the happier that you will be.
If you're an empath and or you are in trauma response, of course, you want to give, give, give, give, give to people, but to give it's not going to make you happy.
You know, to give is just a trauma response that you are doing in order to survive.
It's a trauma response that you created in childhood in order to survive. It's a survival trauma response.
So you need to heal that and focus on receiving and focus on allowing to receive and allowing yourself and to give yourself the permission to receive.
You can tell you have a problem with receiving, and I see it in many of my clients doing this if anybody pays you a compliment and you are completely unable just to say thank you and take the compliment.
If somebody says, oh, you look beautiful or nice shoes! Or a nice coat! And your response is like, “oh, these old things, you know, I have had them for ages,” or “oh, they were cheap. I got them on the sale”, or you diminish whatever that person has complimented.
First, it's an insult to the other person because you are rejecting something nice that they've done for you, and nobody likes that.
And second of all, you are blocking yourself from receiving positive energy. You are blocking yourself from receiving something good. A compliment is something good.
So when you find that you do this a lot, then you see that you have a problem with allowing, and you have a problem with receiving.
So your first step into allowing and receiving more.
It will be like the next time somebody compliments you and says, nice handbag, nice shoes. Did you do something to your hair? You look beautiful.
Just stop it with excuses. Stop it with the explanations. Stop it with the degrading of yourself and just smile and say thank you.
Thank you. That's it.
You don't have to say, oh, thank you, I just got it done.
No: Thank you, but my highlights need to be retouched, or my roots need to be done.
No, just smile and say thank you,
4 Being present
Another way to cultivate your divine feminine energy is to learn to be present.
I see a lot of women, and I see it myself as well, and I still do. But, you know I'm not 100% perfect. Gosh, I'm far from perfect. Lol, but what I mean is that there is a learning process, and we want to see progress, not perfection.
So wherever you are is fine; wherever I am is perfect as it is because we want to see progress and not perfection.
So practice being present in the moment and stop dramatising the past and stop yourself from fussing about the future because, you know, dramatising about the past and dwelling in the past, it is going to lead to depression and fussing about the future is just going to lead to anxiety.
Happiness lives in the present moment.
So things that you can do to practice being in the present moment are doing morning pages and practising gratefulness, like writing a page of what you are grateful for that you have got right now.
So you're grateful for your job, your home, and I want, don't, don't see everything like, oh, you know, I hate my job, are not grateful about my job.
Well, your job has got lots of positive things like, you get paid for your job so you can be grateful for the money that comes in every month.
So find joy in the present.
And even though it is not perfect because the more that you practice being in the present moment, it's going to lead to a more beautiful and brighter future.
The same when you go out on dates; practice being in the moment, practice enjoying the date.
Don't be on the date and be trying to think ahead.
Oh, is he going to be a good husband? Is he going to ask me out again? Oh, Does he like me? Oh, is he going to fall in love with me? Does he think that I'm attractive?
No, no, no, no.
Stop that.
And bring yourself back if you catch yourself; just consciously bring yourself back into the present. Enjoying the conversation. Enjoying the place, enjoying the atmosphere.
Enjoying the drink, just bring yourself to the moment.
Another way to practice mindfulness. It will really help you to practice being in the present because that's what mindfulness is to be in the present moment.
So you can get yourself any apps like headspace or stuff like that that help you to guide you through mindfulness practice.
And this will help you to be more feminine and be more in the present time, being more in the present moment.
If your mind is constantly in the past or constantly in the future, you're missing out on your life basically because you're never living your life; you're never living the moment.
5 Prioritize pleasure.
And if you hear we have noises in the background, Lola is dreaming and must be having a really good dream. I don't want to wake her up. So she's making all these cute little noises in the background. So I apologise for that.
So we are going to talk about what we were talking about?
Prioritise pleasure, and now where is your head going with this? Like, no, I'm not going to tell you; I'm not going to go there, lol. Well, you can if you want to, but that's not where I'm going with this.
Prioritise pleasure, meaning focus on your senses.
So like pleasure, you can experience pleasure not only with sex; you can experience pleasure with a lot of things.
So you can experience pleasure while you are showering and enjoying the hot water falling on your skin. That is a pleasure as well.
You can experience pleasure by applying perfume; pick the most beautiful perfume that you really, really, really enjoy. Some women, they focus, they focus on what perfume guys like or how they're going to get more compliments. The only person that you should care about is yourself. You know, you have to like how you smell, so spray perfume.
Apply lotion to your skin, making your skin super beautiful and soft and smooth.
That will also give you pleasure.
Brushing your hair will give you pleasure.
Taking care of yourself will give you pleasure.
Dressing yourself up in the most beautiful soft, amazing fabrics will make you feel pleasure; some beautiful, soft, delicate fabrics feel really good against your skin.
Get yourself the nicest bedding you can afford so that it feels amazing and pleasurable to get inside your bed every night.
You can experience pleasure through your food, and you can pick the healthiest, richest tasteful ingredients to create your meals. You can experience pleasure by creating a beautiful meal that also looks amazing. You can play and pretend that you are a chef and you are going to finish your dishes with a little bit of garnish so that they look amazing because beauty also gives us pleasure.
So you also are going to enjoy pleasure by reading the most beautiful literature.
Looking at the most beautiful paintings
Wear the most beautiful fashion. All of those things give us pleasure.
You can enjoy pleasure while exercising, stretching, and feeling really good.
You want to indulge all of your senses, and this is how you're going to prioritise pleasure.
You're going to go into nature and enjoy the beauty of nature. The more that you are in nature, the more that you are going to connect with pleasure and beauty; the more you connect with pleasure through your senses, the better you will feel.
And this leads me to the next tip.
6 Connect with your emotions.
So the better you feel, the happier you will be; the feminine is connected to her emotions, she feels her emotions, and she doesn't repress her emotions.
And this is not to say that you have to be happy all the time or you have to be sad all the time.
It just means that you are going to prioritise feeling good and feeling happy.
But then, of course, in order to feel good, there has to be polarity and not all the time, not 100% of the time, you're going to feel euphoric and crazy jumping happy.
But you are going to; whenever something happens, you are going to instead of repressing the emotion, you're going to allow yourself to feel the emotion, acknowledge your feelings and practice compassion for how you feel, self-compassion.
Because self-compassion is a way of healing your emotions.
So if you feel sad because something sad happened, you're 100% allowed to feel sad.
Feel the sadness, allow yourself to feel the sadness release with tears, feel compassion for yourself to allow yourself to feel it is already being self-compassionate with yourself.
And you will find that if you follow this process, the feeling will dissipate, and you will be back in neutral really soon.
It's only when you suppress your emotions that they catch up with you.
And it's only when you suppress your emotions that it leads to being unhappy.
But if you feel your emotions, you learn to self-regulate through your emotions; whatever the emotion is, it might be happiness, it might, it might be sadness, it might be anger, it might be whatever it might be, you know, allow yourself to feel the emotion, allow yourself to feel compassion for your emotion, allow yourself to release the emotion.
You need to feel it in order to release it to go back to feeling good about yourself and go back to feeling neutral and focusing on what's great about your life.
Focusing on gratefulness and what's going great in your life will keep you feeling good, and this just goes into the law of attraction, right? Because the more that you focus on feeling good, the more feel-good moments that you will attract to your life.
And also, the more, the better that you feel about yourself, the higher your vibration will become and the better that your vibrational match will become, the higher value the man that you attract will be as well.
So the better that you feel, the better the match that you will make and even when you are, you know, swiping on Tinder focused on something amazing that has happened to you during the day.
Find, well, something amazing, even if it was just little, maybe it's like, oh, you know, you saw a little bird lunchtime, and it was so beautiful and so cute.
So make yourself feel happy with the little things that you experience that are beautiful and pleasant, and they give you pleasure, they give you a smile.
Focus on those little things before you do your matches and your swiping on Tinder, the quality of your matches will be so much better than if you focus on whatever horrible thing has happened to you during the day.
If you want to learn more about cultivating your feminine energy, I do have a course that is just on this, on cultivating your feminine energy.
And obviously, I have a course on how to become a feminine goddess as well, which talks about how to get into your feminine energy.
If you're serious about your journey to becoming more feminine, you are invited to join us at The Love School. 💕
Links
💕 Join My free Facebook group, The Feminine Goddess Community
💕 Become a member of my monthly subscription program, The Love School
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