Have you ever felt caught in the middle between wanting to support your kids in what they want for themselves, and wanting to make sure they will be functional, successful adults? It can be a tricky balance when it comes to setting boundaries, allowing failures, and giving advice. In this week's episode, I'm talking with Daniel Keith Austin about how parents can support the dreams and goals of their neurodivergent kids. Daniel is an autistic author, and after we recorded this episode his children's book won third place at the BookFest Fall 2023 Awards! It hasn't been an easy journey for him, and there are still things he's working toward accomplishing.  Research shows that kids who are struggling only need ONE supportive adult in their life to help them be successful. Just one. In this week's episode, Daniel and I are sharing strategies to help us all be that one for our kids! Here's a clip from the episode: (Steph) One of the things that... that I believe, is that I think everybody should and has the capacity to dream and have whatever goals they want for themselves. Right. I think for some of us, it may take us longer to get there, and we may need more support along the way. But I don't think that the dream or the goal needs to be any different than it would be for anybody else. It just may take us longer, and we may need more help to get there. (Daniel) Right. And that's often why so many people give up is because it's taking a really long time. And that's something I want to offer as encouraging advice to people who are listening to this, who are in that boat, like, just keep going at it. Someone important to me told me to never ever settle, and that's what I'm not going to do is I'm never going to settle. It is, I will admit, taking a lot longer for me to achieve the dreams. I envisioned having them a much longer time ago. And if I had it my way, I'd be enjoying it right now. But I'm just going to keep going at it no matter how frustrating it is. Buy his book at https://mybook.to/ChelseasNewBeginning. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chelsea.the.golden.retriever Twitter: https://twitter.com/ChelseaTheGold2 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chelseathegoldenretriever4203 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chelseathegoldenretriever88/

You know that visual of an iceberg that often gets used to describe things being 'under the surface'? It's a way to demonstrate what is seen compared to the monstrosity of what is not seen about a situation. On this week's podcast/YouTube channel, I'm jumping into chores and hygiene. Talk about an iceberg graphic!  On the surface, it probably seems like kids refuse to do chores or hygiene tasks 'just because'. In reality, there can be SO MANY reasons for these things to be difficult for our kiddos, many of which we may not have ever recognized. In this episode I'm breaking down multiple reasons why these tasks can be so heavily avoided, why they can just be inadvertently overlooked, and lots of strategies to make them easier and more likely to be done! Here's a clip from the episode: A lot of our kiddos really don't have a concept that the way they look and smell affects their reputation. They just don't have that concept. And so for a lot of people, we do hygiene because we don't want to smell, we don't want to look dirty, right? It has to do with how other people perceive us. And our kids just don't always have that concept. Hygiene is very much a social construct. Even though it sounds weird to think about it that way. We... a lot of the hygiene activities we do are because of our thoughts about how other people think about us. And so when so many of our kids don't have that concept, hygiene becomes just this thing they're supposed to do that they don't really want to do it. So that's another... just know that if your kids are resistant to doing hygiene stuff, or it's just not even on their mind, that's why. It's actually a social construct. And it requires that we think about other people. And a lot of our kids are just really challenged in that area.

A couple months ago I was talking to a mom in Australia about her family. She shared that her kids are both neurodivergent, and so is she, and so is her partner! She felt like the most challenging part was knowing how to support them socially when she feels socially challenged herself.  In my experience, when kid(s) AND parent(s) have a diagnosis, it tends to play out in one of two ways: Scenario 1: personality conflicts abound and relationships are difficult. This was the story for Ann Coleman, who was on the podcast two weeks ago.  Scenario 2: mutual understanding and shared experiences create deeper relationships. This is the story for Tanya Valentin, who is my guest on this week's episode.   Here's a clip from the episode: So first of all, my first sort of thing, the thing that I think is the most important thing is radical acceptance. And what I mean by that is kind of throwing out the rulebook when it comes to parenting. And also just parenting the child that you have. You know, I think there is so much, like, programming or perception of like, how your parenting journey should go, or what your child should be like, how they should show... turn out, what successful parenting looks like, what success in general looks like for a human being. And a lot of it actually doesn't apply to neurodivergent people, neurodivergent families. And so the first thing that I really want to just kind of put out to parents is that radical acceptance is going to be your friend, you know, and so that means looking at your child, looking at your family, and deciding what actually works for us.    PS. The parent I mentioned at the top of this email asked me if I ever teach family classes, and I thought that was an amazing idea! If you find yourself in a similar position where you aren't sure how to help your kiddo because you also struggle socially, I'd love to hear from you.  Where to find Tanya: Social Media: @TanyaValentinNZ www.TanyaValentin.co Podcast: The Seen, Heard, Accepted Podcast

Mel Robbins, one of my favorite people to follow and listen to, says, "You are one decision away from a completely different life." I'm a huge believer in the power of this concept. I also feel like it's very applicable when it comes to making friends.   Sometimes our kids struggle to make friends because of their reputation. They don't realize they are saying or doing things that are sabotaging their reputation and, as a result, their relationships.   And sometimes our kids have great reputations, and still no friends. Sometimes it has nothing to do with who they are, and everything to do with what they are or are not doing.   In this week's podcast/YouTube episode, I'm sharing easy things kids (or adults!) can do to start making connections that can lead to friendships.    Here's a clip from the episode:   If you guys think about when we were, you know, when you’re five or six or if you have a kiddo who was recently five or six, and they may run up to each other and say, ‘Hey, will you be my friend?’ Clearly, that's not actually how friendship works, right? But some of our kids hold on to that concept for years after they're five or six, they think you can just ask somebody to be a friend. Not really how it works. So friendship requires that we're spending time together, outside of where we know this person. All right, so we've established there's a chasm, usually, between acquaintance and friendship. There's a big chasm there. We've established that most people we know are acquaintances. We've talked about how some of our kids recognize they don't have any friends, and some of our kids think everybody's their friend. So how do we actually get from an acquaintance to a friend?

There's something about this time of year that seems to make parenting, teaching, just 'peopling' in general more difficult.    The shine of the new school year has worn off. Kids who haven't adapted so well to the transition are really struggling. Holidays are on the horizon, which can cause extra stress and anxiety at home. The days are getting shorter. The time change is coming. Colder weather is on its way... Anything I missed from that list?   When people feel stressed, they instinctively look for ways to feel more in control of their environment. As parents and teachers, we often turn this need for control into attempts to control the kids in our lives.    For some kids, this can be accomplished fairly easily. Some kids want to be compliant and please the adults in their lives. And then there's the kids like me who will fight back any time they feel like there is an attempt to control them. In this week's podcast/YouTube episode, I'm talking with Ann Coleman, a parenting coach who focuses on challenging teens. We talk about some of the factors contributing to the mindset of our teens, as well as how we can parent them with less conflict.  I grew up with a lot of household conflict in my teen years, and I feel like this conversation is incredibly important for anyone looking to have a more supportive, less challenging relationship with their teen. Where to find Ann: Podcast: Speaking of Teens www.speakingofteens.com

We are back from fall break!In the last 2 weeks, I have moved to another state and gone on an 8-day road trip by myself. While it seems like this would mean less social interaction since I'm no longer around people I know, it has actually required so much more! On this week's episode, I'm sharing three little things our neurodivergent kids can do on a regular basis that make a big difference when it comes to being perceived as friendly. Why does it matter how we are perceived? Because we all are much more willing and interested in connecting with people we perceive as friendly than with those we don't. It's definitely possible for someone to be very friendly, but not be perceived that way. This can be due to anxiety, being distracted, or just not knowing that what they are doing is sabotaging their intent. This episode also involves talking to strangers, which is something I believe is not only acceptable but necessary in order for our kids to have a meaningful social life.

I just spent the weekend moving to another state! I knew I was moving, but I didn't know where I was going for sure until about a week ago. My ADHD brain loves novelty, adventure, and change, so it's been a fun experience!   I chose the place I moved to because of a certain program they have there. As part of this program, I've been plugged into a network with a bunch of other people who are also part of the program. There are organized activities, workshops, social events, etc. It really reinforced how important groups are in our lives.   In this week's podcast/YouTube episode, I'm talking with Jeff Fullington about the intersection of neurodivergence and mental health. His belief, which I obviously share, is that one of the best ways we can protect our mental health (and that of our kids) is to be part of groups of others who are 'like us', whatever that means to us.    It's why Facebook groups are such a big thing. It's why we congregate around religious and political groups. It's why we have such things as school pride and team spirit. All these 'groups' make us feel like we belong. Like we are a part of something.   Here's a clip from this week's episode:   We need that access to our peers for our development. We need to be able to mirror and see ourselves in each other and learn from each other in a way that we can't from an 'out' group. But I would say that applies to any group. I would say autistic people need to be around other autistic people and learn from them and teach like we, it's a mutual process. Men need groups where men can reflect and understand each other. Women need women's groups, different cultures need their groups. So I would, I would say that what I found with the gifted program would apply to any group. So if, if the younger you can get that, the more it's gonna feed into your social development. And a lot of people that come to me, it may be the first time in their life they're meeting other gifted people or other autistic people. Or it's the first time in their life that, as a man, they can come and talk with other men about the things that are important to them. And so it's stuff that could have happened at a younger age had they had those opportunities, but it's happening as an adult, but it's not that different from what a kid would be getting if he'd, like what your program is doing, which I think is fantastic. That's exactly what I think, not only for neurodivergence, but for every identity out there. The more they can access the peers specific to that identity, the more that part of them is going to grow and develop than if they had to do it alone. You can find Jeff at www.satyrsgrove.com

You know those times when your neurodivergent kiddo is being defiant, or argumentative, or disruptive? Maybe disrespectful, or even dramatic? What's up with that?? In this week's episode, I'm sharing multiple reasons why our kids can be 'prickly' sometimes. A lot of them are things you may have never thought about or understood. And of course I'm also sharing what we can do to help when our kiddos are in this space! Here's a clip from this episode: I think there's a lot of people who just like being a little bit different. There's a big distinction between when that's a choice and when it's not a choice. Somebody with a physical disability is always going to be seen as different, even though they did not make that choice. Somebody with a speech impairment, there will always be seen as different, even though they did not make that choice. Somebody whose skin is a different color than the other people they're typically around, somebody who wears certain clothing because of their religion... So there are things about us that make us stand out, make us different in a crowd, that were not our explicit choice. Things like: having a slow processing speed, not understanding humor, having a hard time getting along in a group. Those things also make us feel different. And they are not things that we chose for ourselves. So one of the reasons that I notice that our kiddos can be prickly sometimes is when the things that make them feel different were not their choice, and they're causing hardships in their life.

My main focus at Starfish Social Club is our kids' relationships with other kids. This is, after all, a social club to teach and support neurodivergent kids in getting along with other kids.    But it's important to recognize that the main source of what our kids think and how they feel about relationships is US. The adults.    Yikes.   In this week's podcast/YouTube episode, Darlene Meissner and I are talking about this topic in depth. We are uncovering how our relationship with our kids affects all their future relationships, and why it's important for them to have relationships with adults who aren't us. Here's a clip from this episode:  As a parent, the relationship you have with your child and the relationship you have with other people sets the stage for what your child thinks is a normal relationship. So you know, when I had a relationship with one parent where I always felt like I was wrong, I always felt like I was doing something wrong, I felt like everything was my fault, I ended up in a 10 year romantic relationship where I always felt like everything was my fault. And I always felt like I was wrong. But whereas someone else may say, 'Oh, I'm absolutely not staying in this relationship',  to me, that's what a relationship was. So that was my experience and that's when it really became clear to me how much our dynamics growing up affect what we think we should be looking for as we get older. How to get in touch with Darlene: https://DarleneMeissner.com

One of the most important pieces of advice I share with parents of neurodivergent kids to build connections with their kids and try their best to understand them. I realized I haven't talked much about HOW to do that. Today's episode is all about this topic! First, please stop asking your kid how their day was. In this episode, I explain why, AND I give you a great alternative that will not only give you more information than what you are probably getting now, but it will also help you form a deeper connection with your child. I also talk about how to support our kids when they are struggling emotionally, ways to connect with kids who are resistant/reluctant/defiant, and why the things we choose to focus on could have a big impact on our kids' social futures. Registration for my 8-week social skills program for autistic/ADHD kids is opening soon! Are you on the waiting list? https://www.starfishsocialclub.org/SC3-Academy

When I teach my students about the concept of 'reputation', one of the things we talk about is that it's totally fine and normal to act differently in different contexts. We SHOULD act differently at family dinner than in the school cafeteria. It WOULD be a good idea to talk to the principal or our boss differently than we talk to our friends. There's a term for this: It's called 'codeswitching'.  For some of our kids, we sometimes WISH they would act differently in different contexts. We would love for them to be more aware of the concept of codeswitching.   But what about when a kiddo acts SO differently in another context that we are surprised? Or worried? Or even angry?   In this week's podcast/YouTube episode, Delton Cooper and I are talking about our childhood experiences with ADHD at home and at school. Both of us really struggled in one of these environments while we showed up very differently in the other.    We share why it's important to pay attention to how your child acts in different contexts, what that may mean regarding their mental health, and what we believe all kids need in order to be the best version of themselves.     Here's a clip from this episode:  Why is this kid determined to stay in trouble? Why is he determined to defy the simplest of instructions? Simplest of instructions. Just sit down and be quiet, I'm not going to do it. You know, "When you get done reading your book, close your book and, you know, quietly finish your..." I"m not gonna do it. I didn't want to do homework. You know, I didn't want to do... I didn't want to do anything that forced me to to... Comply? Comply. Perfect word. Even to this day, I have, I don't like complying. You know, that still follows me. Because the complying is just, to me and to other kids that have you know, these diagnoses, is that you're not allowing me to be who I am. I'm not a bad person. I'm not threatening you. I'm not disrupting your world at all. But all I want to do is just be who I am. And you're not allowing that. So we're all going to suffer for this. So that was my answer to school. Yeah, that's a really great way to put it. I hadn't really thought about that connection with compliance before.   *We do dive into some heavier topics related to mental health, so please be aware of that before you watch/listen.    Listen to the podcast episode. Watch on YouTube.   Where to find Delton: FB: Delton Cooper II dcoachingkc@gmail.com

It's back to school season for those of us in the US! That's why my guest this week is someone who works alongside our kids in the school system every day! But first, a story. A couple years ago, I saw a social media post from this dude who is a therapist and teaches social skills to ADHD boys. It said something like: Why would you trust a middle-aged woman to teach your teenage boy with ADHD social skills?? Now I know this post had nothing to do with me (I mean, I'm not even middle-aged!) but I actually found it humorous. Here's this dude who is neurotypical, thinking he's in a better position to teach social skills to neurodivergent kids and teens than someone who has LIVED EXPERIENCE! How many situations do you find yourself in where you think the best person to learn something (anything!) from is someone who has NO personal experience in that area? A realtor who has never bought or sold their own house? Someone who teaches people to make money with a side hustle, but has never had a side hustle? Someone who teaches piano lessons, but doesn't know how to play the piano?? Alright, you get the idea. I'm just a girl who has ADHD standing in front of you wanting to help your child. Is that how that quote goes?? My guest on the podcast this week is Michelle Steiner, a disability advocate, speaker, and a paraprofessional in a middle school who has a learning disability. In other words, she's another person out in the world teaching our kids because she gets it. She has been there, done that. Here's a clip from the episode: A lot of times, we'll have parents that are advocating for their child, and that's definitely very important for a parent's voice. My parents didn't give up on me and they advocated for me until I could advocate for myself. But I think we really need to have kids beginning starting to advocate for themselves at an early age. A lot of these a lot of the students I work with, their disability is going to continue well on after adulthood, it's going to go with them for the rest of their lives. And I think the earlier we start getting them to be able to speak up for themselves, the more we're going to serve them, and better prepare them for their future. PS. Did you know I also teach people how to start a social club in their community? Because, you know, I have 7 years of experience doing that! If this sounds like something you are interested in learning more about, you can join the waiting list at Start Your Own Club Waitlist (starfishsocialclub.org) I'm glad you are here! You can find Michelle at www.michellesmission.net

This is an impromtu episode I recorded because this topic was heavy on my mind. I'm sharing why I think everyone deserves to know if they have a diagnosis, when we should tell our kids, and how we can do it in an affirming way.

It's back to school season here in the US! I've been on both sides of the table in IEP meetings.  Regardless of your role in an IEP meeting, these things can get intense.  I was a special education teacher and behavior specialist for many years. I also spent a year as an assistant principal in a residential treatment center where I was the administrator who attended all the IEP meetings, about 20 each week.  In these roles, I was the so-called 'expert'. The child's teacher. The behavior guru. The one with the authority to make decisions.  Also, I spent some time as a foster parent to a kiddo with LOTS of needs.  In this role, I was in the awkward position of knowing my child's teacher was not very good at her job because I worked in the district and was in her classroom frequently supporting other students. Then there was the time I found out the school nurse had only been giving my child half his medication dosage. The report I filed led to her losing her job. But here's the thing: We are all doing the best we can. Parents are doing the best they can to raise their kids without being experts in neurodivergence or education most of the time.  Teachers are doing the best they can to teach and support their students without being an expert in each child. Specialists are doing the best they can to support high caseloads of students, all with different needs and situations. Administrators are doing the best they can to support their staff, whom they rely on, as well as the parents who drop their kids off at the front door every day, whom they are here to teach and protect. In this week's podcast episode, Katie Ploss and I talk about ways to support home and school collaboration in the IEP process. Katie is a school psychologist who is passionate about supporting parents along the full developmental experience with their kids. We also discuss the best places and ways to ask questions and get accurate information when it comes to your child's education (HINT: It's not by posting in FB groups). Here's a clip from this episode:  A lot of the acronyms and the big... all the paperwork and all of those things were put in place to protect, for procedural safeguard purposes, to protect children and parents and to ensure that students have access to education. So it's like a double-edged sword, it's like all of this stuff is what's legally protecting your child, and giving them, providing that access to them. But on the other side of it, it is, it's a bear, it's there's so much to sift through. IEPs are like 20, 30 pages long. And then if you have your child evaluated, if it's a three-year or an initial IEP, you know, you have maybe multiple specialist reports that you're sifting through, it is insane. And, you know, a lot of schools just don't have the resources, the time, the parent doesn't have the resources or the capability, capacity to sit and go through all of it. And it's just really overwhelming. So, you know, it's knowing like, again, that communication and how to... what questions to ask, how to ask them, when to ask them. And it's up to us on our end to make sure that we're communicating the information in a way that's digestible. And if you're looking for some support as we kick of the new school year, my 1/1 sessions can be used to discuss your child's IEP or attend a meeting with your child's school staff via Zoom. Just send an email to hello@StarfishSocialClub.org if that sounds like something that would be helpful for you. How to find Katie: www.beyoucmty.com, and 'beyoucmty' on social media.

It's back to school season for those of us in the US!   I don't think it's a secret that I'm not a huge fan of traditional education systems. From bell schedules to having to ask to go to the restroom to the overfocus on memorization, I think these structures and expectations promote compliance and conformity. The fact that I'm not a huge fan of those things isn't a secret for sure!   While a lot of our neurodivergent kids experience social anxiety, school anxiety is another factor that can negatively affect students both academically and socially.  My guest this week is Jessica Bradley, a former school teacher who now supports struggling learners by giving them the academic and emotional support they need to be more successful.   Here's a clip from this week's episode: And that is why I think, in my program, students and parents tell us, you've only met with them once, and they're doing so much better. And I'm like, Well, I didn't teach them anything in an hour that's going to fix our academic problem. But I did talk to them and reduce their stress, which allowed them to go to that math class, and pay attention. So now they're getting support from me. But they're also able to finally intake information in class because I've reduced their stress level so much. And so that's such a big part. And you know, there's so much research too about how the two are intertwined, right? If we're doing well in school, we have great peer relationships, but the opposite has been researched and the opposite is true: If we have great peer relationships, we do great in school. So it's this very codependent relationship, that we have to continue as parents and a support person, people and all that we have to continue to foster both sides. Because they work together.   Where to find Jessica: www.the-learning-room.com

I have never thought of myself as someone who interrupts a lot. And then I listened to the recording of this week's podcast episode. Yikes!    In my defense, I interrupted so much because I related so strongly to what my guest was sharing, and because I had so much personal experience to contribute to the discussion! Excuses and interruptions aside, it is a great episode.   In this week's podcast episode with Bobbi Westbrook, we are talking about strategies to create healthier ADHD brains.    A lot of the things Bobbi shares I just learned and started applying in the last few years. Mostly because I just received my ADHD diagnosis in 2021. But I can only imagine how much it would have benefitted younger me to have these practices established when I was a kid.   In addition to what Bobbi shares, I also talk about my theory on why people with ADHD are more likely to also have anxiety, and why the concept of 'moderation' is lost on ADHD brains.   Here's a soundbite from the episode:    Helping give our child an environment that helps their brain function the best, and then helping parents respond to their kids empathetically and understand how their brains are working just a little bit differently will help everybody just cooperate more together in life and hopefully bring a lot more peace into the home. And then, by the time those kids reach adolescence and teenage years, they have so many coping mechanisms and skills and tools that they can use to really thrive as they get more responsibility, and they have more privileges like phones and things like that. A story that I hear constantly with teenagers is: “I’m constantly taking their phone away to try to get them to do their homework and I’m constantly grounding them because they didn’t do x,y,z when I asked them to.” And I’m like, man, if we can head that off when they’re 5, 6, 7 years old and get you all’s relationship established so that you can understand each other and be on the same page, you don’t have to do any of that. They are able to flow into young adulthood with a lot more confidence, and with the parent having a lot more confidence in them.   Check out this week's episode with Bobbi for strategies on how to support your kiddo's (or your own) ADHD brain. Contact Bobbi: https://www.facebook.com/groups/736012364884018 Ig: bobbiwestbrook.np email: bwestbrook@westbrook-wellness.com

In this week's podcast episode with Carrie Bonnett, we talk about the importance of self-advocacy, giving everything a home, and making the invisible visible.   To Carrie, this relates to executive functioning tasks. To me, this relates to helping my students identify and recognize how the invisible social world really works.   I had two conversations with new students this week that really highlighted the importance of making the invisible visible:   The first conversation was with a middle school student who came to see me for 1/1 support. He did not want to be there, and the first thing he said when I greeted him was, "I'm just waiting for this to be over."    I am always up for a challenge, so I dove right in.   By the end of our session, he had identified that it wasn't his unique hobby that was causing other kids to pick on him, it was his reputation. (Note: while someone's reputation is never a justifiable excuse for them to be picked on, it is at least an explanation for why it's happening.)   This kiddo also figured out what he was doing that was giving him a reputation for being annoying. He has been going out of his way to try to hide his amazing hobby, thinking it would cause kids to stop picking on him. I helped him see the invisible truth behind the treatment and now he's much more open to receiving feedback regarding how he interacts with other kids.   The second conversation was with an elementary student who is joining me via Zoom in a couple of weeks for my group program. At first, he refused to talk to me. When his mom would try to tell me what was going on, he would yell and have a big reaction. At one point she said he was melting down in the background.    By the end of our session, he was telling me that his two goals in life were to make friends and to improve his rock climbing. He was also showing me some of the very creative pictures he has created.    Why the significant change? He has social anxiety and thinks other kids don't like him. I explained to him the number one way he could figure out if other kids like him and want to play with him, which reinforced that kids like him! I made one invisible thing more visible to him, and it completely changed his perception of himself and of our conversation.   I encourage you to check out this week's episode with Carrie for strategies on helping your kiddo (or you!) make the invisible visible, and lots of other helpful solutions for organizing our brains and our homes.   Here's a soundbite from the episode:  So what executive function skills are are the skills, the brain skills that help us get stuff done. That's how I like to describe it, like the short version. And I often like to say that the key to being successful at this thing called 'executive function’ is to make the invisible visible. So there is so much in a student's life, or an adult’s, that is invisible, right? Like expectations are invisible. Time is invisible. Yes. Months, years, invisible. All this stuff. Chores, invisible. And so one of the things that I just was talking to this high school student about just moments ago was this idea of just keeping it in your face. You can find Carrie at www.CarrieBonnett.com

This week's podcast features my first guest, Chris Fugelsang. Chris is an executive functioning coach, so I figured he would be a perfect person to talk to since that's what I've been talking about all summer!  Here's a soundbite from the episode:  In my early days of teaching, I would get like, five, six kids pulled out of a class and I would have to help them manage school. And they really were weak in those areas. Intellectually they were mostly above or average intelligence, sometimes exceptionally above average. But what I found out was that it wasn't the content that they struggled with, it was these peripheral things around learning, like planning and organizing and sustained attention and study skills and impulsivity and all these other things that they struggled with. But what I was doing as an early teacher was just putting out fires and helping them do work and being a tutor showing them how to get their work done so that they can get the grade. But I wasn't really helping them. I didn't feel as though I was helping. I've almost felt like I was doing them a disservice because they were getting, they were passing the class, but they weren't necessarily learning the skills. And that's kind of what this work is all about is learning the fundamental skills.   This clip really stands out to me, because it highlights that it's not the SETTING that supports our kids in their learning, it's TEACHING THE SKILLS.   Kids don't learn how to study or complete their assignments by being in mainstream classes, and they don't learn how to make friends by being around other kids. If either of these were the case, our kids would function just like everyone else by now.    But they obviously don't.   The biggest misconception about our program here at Starfish Social Club is that the benefit is in either the group, or the in-person service.    It's not in either of those.   I'm currently working with a 21-year-old 1/1. He emailed me a bulleted list of what he would like to work on. We have had some amazing conversations and he's recognizing that he's trying to use 'traditional' social skills, which are actually making him seem more awkward. He's not part of one of my groups, and he lives on the other side of the country. It's not the group or the location that leads to social growth.   Sometimes the group actually causes things to be MORE challenging. If you didn't see the video I posted Thursday about our challenging day at summer camp, you can watch it here.   We didn't turn things around because the kids were with me in person. We did it because of the way I interact with the students, the relationship we have, and the skills they have learned in the program.   If I just stuck all my students in a room together so that they would gain social skills, it would most likely end up in chaos and arguments and crying. It's not the environment. that leads to growth. It's the acquisition of skills. Outline: 10:15 - The relationship between discipline, motivation, and passion 16:17 - Breaking tasks down in ways that work for our brains 22:32 - Using natural rewards and consequences 33:42 - The role of accountability 35:48 - The importance of routines How to contact Chris: www.exceptionalpath.com theexceptionalpath@gmail.com

This is the final episode in our executive functioning series. This episode includes 10 activities you can do with your kids involving games to improve their executive functioning skills. We spend half our time at Starfish Social Club playing games! Segment from this episode: Next up is how I incorporate executive functioning skills into games. Clearly games in and of themselves work on executive functioning skills. There's not a game out there that does not work on executive functioning skills just by the fact that it's a game. There are extra things I do during game time that kick things up a notch. Sometimes a little, sometimes a whole lot!

This episode focuses on working memory games to improve our kids' working memory. A lot of these are oral games that can be done anywhere. You do them at the dinner table or in the car, to start or end your day... wherever and whenever! I'll see you next week for our last set of activities: games!