Life after Babyloss

Grace in Action

We are David and Siobhan Monteith and in 2014 our daughter Grace died the day before she was born. That day everything changed. This podcast will follow our personal ongoing struggle in the new normal, but also be an inclusive conversation with those who have been where we are, for the benefit of those who will be where we are. For their families and friends for the medical staff, organisations, charities and academics that support grieving families. Join us as we explore life after Stillbirth. This podcast is brought to you by Grace in Action read less
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Episodes

Candles & Community: The Wave of Light Experience
15-10-2024
Candles & Community: The Wave of Light Experience
The Wave of Light is a significant event that brings together families to remember and honor their lost babies, and in this episode, Siobhan and David reflect on their recent experience participating in this poignant occasion. They share how the event serves as a powerful reminder of the enduring love and grief that accompanies baby loss, emphasizing the importance of community and connection in navigating these difficult emotions. Siobhan discusses the challenges of balancing their loss with the demands of family life, while David highlights the need for open communication about feelings of anger and sorrow. Their daughter Alannah contributes to the conversation by reading two heartfelt poems, expressing her own connection to her sister Grace and the love that continues to exist despite the loss. Through their reflections, Siobhan and David encourage listeners to find solace and support within their own communities, reminding everyone that they are not alone in their grief.Takeaways: The Wave of Light is a significant event for parents to remember their lost children. Community support during baby loss helps people feel less isolated in their grief. Alannah's poem symbolizes the deep bond and love that continues after loss. The importance of creating opportunities to share feelings about grief cannot be overstated. Events like the Wave of Light help acknowledge and honor the memories of lost babies. Camaraderie with others who understand makes a profound difference in the grieving process. Please consider helping us with our costs - https://ko-fi.com/graceinactionLife After Babyloss will be moving to a monthly schedule so please subscribe to make sure you don't miss our next episode
Triggers, trauma and trigger warnings
14-10-2024
Triggers, trauma and trigger warnings
This podcast episode delves into the complex topic of triggers experienced by those in the Babylost community. Siobhan and David explore various triggers—sights, sounds, smells, and memories—that can unexpectedly evoke intense emotional responses related to their loss. They discuss the nature of these triggers, how they manifest physically and emotionally, and the coping mechanisms they have developed over time. Additionally, the couple engages in a thoughtful conversation about the pros and cons of trigger warnings, emphasizing the importance of being able to express and process grief without fear of discomfort. Ultimately, they encourage listeners to share their own experiences and strategies for navigating the challenges of living with loss.Takeaways: Triggers can be unexpected and can evoke intense emotional responses in those who have experienced baby loss. Understanding and identifying triggers is crucial for managing emotional responses and processing grief effectively. Using music and scents intentionally can help individuals connect with lost loved ones and process their emotions. The conversation around trigger warnings and content warnings highlights the need for sensitivity in discussions about grief. It's important to recognize that feeling triggered is a normal part of the grieving process after a significant loss. Developing strategies for grounding and calming oneself can aid in coping with triggers when they arise.
What To Say Instead
13-10-2024
What To Say Instead
This podcast episode delves into the sensitive topic of what to say to parents who have experienced baby loss, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging the child's existence and the profound impact they had on their parents' lives. Siobhan and David share personal stories and reflections, highlighting the comfort that can come from positive affirmations and meaningful conversations about their lost child, Grace. They discuss the significance of recognizing the womb life and the love that existed during pregnancy, as well as the evolving relationship parents have with their deceased children. The episode also addresses the complexities of grief, the guilt that often accompanies the loss, and the need for supportive gestures from friends and family. Listeners are encouraged to consider thoughtful ways to engage with bereaved parents, fostering connection and understanding in moments of profound sadness.Takeaways: Acknowledging the beauty and existence of a stillborn child can bring comfort to grieving parents. Offering specific help, such as bringing food or a listening ear, is often more appreciated than vague offers of assistance. It's important to recognize and validate the womb life experience of grieving parents, as it holds significant emotional value. As a bereaved parent, talking about your lost child can provide a sense of connection and healing. Expressing genuine curiosity about the deceased child, like asking for their name, can be incredibly meaningful for bereaved parents. Grief is a complex journey, and the relationship with a deceased child evolves as parents navigate their emotions. Donate - https://ko-fi.com/graceinactionemail - info@graceinaction.org.uk
Holding Too Tight: Encanto & Parenting After Loss
11-10-2024
Holding Too Tight: Encanto & Parenting After Loss
This episode explores the profound themes of generational trauma and the challenges of parenting in the wake of loss, as illustrated by the Disney movie Encanto. Siobhan and David delve into how the film resonates with their experiences, particularly the struggle of holding on too tightly to their living children after the loss of their daughter, Grace. They reflect on the impact of trauma on parenting styles, recognizing how fear and past experiences can unintentionally shape their interactions with their children. The conversation emphasizes the importance of being aware of these dynamics and the need to create a healthy environment for their children to grow and thrive. By examining their own responses to fear and vulnerability, they offer insights on how to navigate the delicate balance between protection and allowing freedom, ultimately advocating for conscious parenting rooted in understanding and compassion.Takeaways: The Disney movie Encanto offers profound insights into generational trauma and its impact on families. It's essential to recognize the scripts running in the background of our parenting behaviors. Learning to let go and not hold on too tightly can benefit our children's development. Consciously processing trauma helps prevent it from negatively affecting our living children. Communicating openly with our children about trauma can foster understanding and empathy. Parenting after loss requires constant reflection and adjustment to new challenges and fears. Links referenced in this episode:https://ko-fi.com/graceinactiondisneychannel.com/encanto
Handling the Awkward Questions -  'Do You Have Kids?'
09-10-2024
Handling the Awkward Questions - 'Do You Have Kids?'
This podcast episode delves into the sensitive and often challenging question of how to respond to inquiries about children after experiencing baby loss. Siobhan and David share their personal experiences and strategies for navigating such conversations, highlighting the importance of acknowledging both living and deceased children without feeling pressured to explain their loss. They discuss the emotional nuances involved, including how the context of a conversation and their mood can influence their responses. The couple emphasizes that while humor can be a coping mechanism, it’s crucial to honor their daughter Grace's memory in a way that feels authentic to them. Ultimately, they encourage listeners to find their own ways to handle these conversations and remind them that it's perfectly acceptable to choose when and how to share their story.Takeaways: The podcast explores the complexities of discussing children after experiencing baby loss, highlighting emotional sensitivities. David and Siobhan share personal anecdotes about how they navigate questions about their family. They emphasize the importance of finding your own way to honor a lost child. The couple discusses how they formulate responses to intrusive questions about their children. Humor is used as a coping mechanism in sharing their experiences with others. Listeners are encouraged to develop their own stock answers for difficult conversations about loss. Let us know how you handle this by emailing us at info@graceinaction.org.ukor on social mediahttps://www.facebook.com/GraceInAction14/Twitter - @graceinactInsta - @graceinaction14And a beautiful heavenly birthday to Aden Jackson Wiggins on his 18th today