Recovering from My Child's Addiction

Shelly Summers

Has your son or daughter’s addiction impacted you in ways you never dreamed of? When you have a child who has the disease of addiction, you say, do, and feel things you wish you never had to experience. It is a journey you did not ask be on, yet you are. My twenty-two year old son, Joseph, has struggled with addiction since he was prescribed ADHD medication almost ten years ago. Nothing could have prepared me for what he would go through as his addiction evolved. And as his disease progressed, so did my overwhelming fear, anxiety, anger, pain, and helplessness. Just as an addict can work the Narcotic’s Anonymous twelve-step program as a catalyst to change their life, their loved ones have their own twelve-step program. The program is called Nar-Anon. This podcast is my journey through each of the twelve steps. I hope you will take these steps with me if you have also been affected by someone else’s addiction. Together, we will recover. Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/my-childs-addiction/support read less
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Episodes

Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
26-06-2023
Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Step 12 is the final step in the Nar-Anon program. In this episode, these 20 questions are discussed: What does being spiritual mean to me? What kind of Twelfth Step work have I done? What thoughts or feelings come to mind when I think of the word awakening? How has working the Twelve Steps led me to a spiritual awakening? How has my spiritual life improved as a result of working the Steps? What progress do I see in myself as a result of working these steps? Working the Twelve Steps has required effort and soul searching. How has accomplishing this given me more self-confidence? How has my understanding of the phrase "working the steps" changed since I started this journey? How have I seen my Higher Power working in my life as I have traveled this Twelve Step path? What does it mean to carry the message? What is the message I am trying to carry to others? What are some of the ways I can carry the message of recovery through attraction rather than promotion? Can I remember a situation when I shared the Nar-Anon message? How did it make me feel?What does it mean to practice these principles? How can I practice the principles in my group, area, and region? How do the principles of Nar-Anon work in my daily life as well as in meetings? What does it mean to place principles above personalities? How does practicing these principles in all my affairs contribute to a better way to live? What changes do I see in myself? How have these changes affected my life? Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/my-childs-addiction/support
Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
25-03-2023
Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. In this episode, these 22 questions are discussed: What insights do I gain by praying for my Higher Power's will for my life?If there are barriers to my reaching out in daily prayer, what steps and actions can I take to overcome them?Can I give an example of how my Higher Power answered my prayer through another person or a new experience?What are the consequences of doubting my Higher Power's availability and willingness to provide help and guidance?Describe a recent situation where I tried to take control from my Higher Power because of doubts.What can happen if I wait for my Higher Power's answer to my prayer rather than following my own self-will?How do I define prayer? Meditation?Do I find meditation difficult because of the thoughts going through my head? What can I do to quiet these thoughts?What activities help me relax and get in touch with my Higher Power?Why is it important to listen to my Higher Power?What does conscious contact mean to me?What steps can I take to improve my conscious contact with my Higher Power?Did I reach out to my Higher Power today? Why?What is my current concept of a Higher Power?What experiences have shown me a Higher Power is at work in my life?Because this program is spiritual and not religious, how does this allow me the freedom to find a Higher Power of my understanding?How does the decision I made in Step Three help me as I work this step?In what ways am I accepting my Higher Power's will?How has acceptance of my Higher Power's guidance helped me make better decisions?In what ways has my relationship with my Higher Power improved?How has this improved relationship given me the courage to act on my Higher Power's will?Can I share an occasion when I felt guided by my Higher Power? Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/my-childs-addiction/support
Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
08-01-2023
Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
In this episode, 61 questions are discussed. Due to space restrictions, only the first 30 questions are listed below. The full list of questions can be found on my blog at https://wordpress.com/post/childsaddiction.wordpress.com/521 at the bottom of the post for Step 10. Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting. 1. Which behaviors are not appearing as often? 2. How can I remind myself to take a spot-check inventory every day? 3. Which behaviors are not appearing as often? 4. How am I doing? Is my spot-check inventory helping me in my daily life as I interact with others? 5. How was I good to myself today? 6. What do I have to be grateful for? 7. What boundaries did I set today with no expectations? 8. What problem areas have I noticed in my life? 9. How did I handle conflicts today? 10. How does this daily reflection help me be more aware of my behaviors? 11. How often am I setting aside time to do a long-term periodic inventory? 12. What new behaviors am I discovering? 13. What issues in my life could benefit from a long-term inventory? 14. How am I using what I learned in Steps Four through Nine to help with my inventory? 15. Do I continue to justify past behaviors instead of admitting my wrongs? If so, explain why. 16. What am I keeping to myself that I should discuss with my sponsor? 17. How am I maintaining personal integrity in my relationships with others? 18. What apologies or amends do I need to make today? 19. If I see old patterns emerging, what can I do to get back on track? 20. How did attending a Nar-Anon meeting or talking to a trusted Nar-Anon friend help me find freedom and serenity? 21. How has being of service helped me focus on my own recovery? 22. How did I use the principles of the program today? 23. How do I practice tolerance and compassion for others? 24. How can I forgive those who hurt me so I don't carry resentments? 25. Why is it important to focus on my own inventory instead of someone else's? 26. How do I take responsibility for my actions? 27. Does fear prevent me from accepting change? How willing am I to change? 28. How does admitting my fears allow me to face them honestly? 29. How am I relying on my Higher Power for courage? 30. How can I overcome feeling threatened by others? Questions 31 - 61 can be found at https://wordpress.com/post/childsaddiction.wordpress.com/521. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/my-childs-addiction/support
Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others.
18-09-2022
Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others.
Step 9 of the Nar-Anon Program. In this episode, these 19 questions are discussed: 1. List ways making amends can help me let go of guilt or blame to aid my recovery.  2. What resentments and grudges still interfere with my willingness to make amends?  3. What is the difference between apologizing and making amends?  4. To which people on my list do I need to make direct amends?   5. How can I plan what I am going to say in order to be concise and avoid blame?  6. Have I considered practicing or role playing a direct amends scenario with my sponsor or another trusted Nar-Anon member?  7. What does it mean "to be carrying baggage"? How might this concept relate to making amends?  8. If my amends are rejected, am I willing to accept the result?  9. Am I concerned about how I will be treated when I make amends?  10. Are there people on my list to whom I need to make indirect amends? If so, who?  11. What can I do to offer a kindness to another that would fill the needs of my indirect amends?  12. How can writing my indirect amends help me to heal?  13. What behaviors have I changed by making amends to myself?  14. How have I harmed myself by holding onto resentments?  15. What financial goal can I set and what is my plan to achieve that goal?  16. What is my favorite way to treat myself?  17. How has making time for spirituality enhanced my recovery?  18. What situations may require I wait for a better time?  19. Sometimes partial restitution is all that is needed. Is there a way I can make a partial amends?  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/my-childs-addiction/support
Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
06-09-2022
Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Step 8 of the Nar-Anon Program. In this episode, these 25 questions are discussed: 1. How reluctant am I to make this list? Explain.  2. Am I willing to be completely honest?  3. What role does the God of my understanding have in this step?  4. How can a sponsor or another Nar-Anon member help me work this step?  5. In what ways have I harmed myself?  6. Why is it important to forgive myself?  7. How did I ignore the needs of my children in my obsession with the addict?  8. How was I angry or impatient with relatives or friends who tried to give me advice?  9. Did I isolate myself in an attempt to hide problems associated with addiction?  10. How have those relationships that meant the most to me been affected by my behaviors?  11. How have I mistreated others because of my state of mind?  12. Did I avoid anyone (family or friends)? If so, when and why?  13. Did I lie or engage in some form of inappropriate conduct in an attempt to protect my secrets or to cover for the addict?  14. How have I neglected myself, family, friends, community, or my Higher Power?  15. Have I entered agreements then refused to abide by the terms?  16. Have I misused funds or resources (borrowing or extravagant spending), especially if trying to buy love or friendship?  17. Did I neglect my health, education, career and/or productivity?  18. Is there someone I am unwilling to include on my list? Why?  19. Are resentments and grudges still interfering with my willingness to make amends?  20. How does my pride prevent me from becoming willing?  21. In what ways do I harm myself by remaining unwilling?  22. What do I think I am giving up when I become willing?  23. How do I become willing to make amends without expecting anything in return?  24. How can I trust my Higher Power to lead me in this process?  25. What are my feelings as I become willing? Explain each. Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/my-childs-addiction/support
Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
03-08-2022
Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Step 6 of the Nar-Anon Program. In this episode, these 24 questions are discussed: 1.  What are my thoughts, feelings, and fears as I begin to work on Step Six? 2.  Explain how I have changed an old habit to a new habit. 3.  How does my relationship with a Higher Power help with Step Six? 4.  Make a list of areas I am not ready to turn over to my Higher Power. 5.  Make a list of areas I might consider turning over. 6.  Make a list of habits I am ready to have God remove. 7.  What defects do I still find useful? 8.   How can I trust that my Higher Power will guide me as I continue to work this Step?9.   How can I be sure I am now ready to let my Higher Power remove my character defects? 10.  Think about the phrase "entirely ready." What does that mean to me? 11. What are my thoughts or feelings on being willing? 12.  What does surrender or giving up mean to me? 13.  What are my fears of letting go? 14.  What, if anything, is keeping me from being entirely ready? 15.  How does my understanding of the word "defect" help me be ready to have them removed? 16.  What unhealthy character defects have I identified? 17.  Having recognized these defects of character, how will I begin to work with my Higher Power in removing them? 18.  What do I hope is the end result of removing these defects? 19.  How am I willing to change my life to live in a more positive manner?20.  How am I relying on my willpower to change instead of trusting my Higher Power for help? 21.  Which behaviors or defects do I make excuses for or try to justify? 22.  What doubts interfere with my readiness to have God remove my shortcomings? 23.  Do I believe there is a confident person within me that is ready to emerge? 24. List things I would like to change about myself.  Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/my-childs-addiction/support
Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
28-07-2022
Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
Step 5 of the Nar-Anon Program. In this episode, these 23 questions are discussed: 1. Who are my hopes and fears about working step five? 2. How will I know I am ready to share my inventory with someone else? 3. What are my past experiences with trust? 4. How can I trust my Higher Power to guide me in this process?5. How do I know I am ready to be honest, open, and willing? 6. What are the benefits of being honest, open, and willing? 7. What thoughts come to mind when I think of the words truthful, genuine, and real, in relation to myself? 8. What fears do I have as I prepare to admit the exact nature of my wrongs?9. What is my current concept of a Higher Power?10. Do I believe my Higher Power will still accept me after admitting the exact nature of my wrongs?11. Do I believe I need forgiveness from my Higher Power? Why or why not?12. If so, can I accept forgiveness? Explain.13. What are the benefits of sharing with my Higher Power?14. What have I done to accept, without judgment, the things I am admitting?15. What new discoveries have I made about myself?16. What did I like or dislike about what I discovered?17. Looking at the defects of character from my fourth step inventory, what is the exact nature of my wrongs?18. How does choosing to be honest with myself give me a sense of freedom?19. What qualities will I look for in the person with whom I share?20. What character traits embarrass me when I think of sharing them with someone else?21. How might sharing with another person increase the awareness of my positive qualities?22. How might sharing with another person help me avoid falling back into old behaviors?23. Can I share with another person without expecting approval? Why or why not? Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/my-childs-addiction/support