Two Old Sexperts: Talking Sexuality & Disabilities

It has been nearly six months since we joined to record a podcast.  This episode is about the union and journey of two friends.  Our serendipitous dinner in Scranton led to the creation of the podcast a few years ago, but, more importantly, our relationship moved from professional acquaintances to friends.  Our relationship propels and inspires us to try to teach others.  Sexuality is broad.  Humanity is complex.  The power to motivate is endless.  Be kind.

In this episode, we (Shawn and Sharon) talk about autism and offense-related issues.  Through the chat, we explore and openly discuss a lot of gaps and missing components that could lead us to better solutions to prevent brushing up on the criminal justice system, at least as it relates to sexual offenses.

Registration for the Sexuality Practitioner Program is now available. We will be starting with two cohorts beginning May 2nd. One option is each Thursday during the 12-1 pm lunch hour, or another option is each Thursday in the evening from 7-8 pm. For more information, please visit www.shawnmcgillmsw.com and click on the events page.

What is the Sexuality Practitioner Program? This is a professional development program designed to prepare the student to serve individuals with complex needs related to sexuality. The scope of this training prepares the student to complete various sexuality assessments, and train on abuse prevention & safety, and work with team members to address and support these complex needs. All students receive consultation with Shawn McGill and Sharon Potter, both of whom will be mentoring you through the training. Why is this training being offered? People with disabilities are incarcerated at an alarming rate. Of those incarcerated in Pennsylvania, 56% have a non-psychiatric disability. People with disabilities are sexually assaulted nearly three times the rate of people without disabilities. More than 90% of people with developmental disabilities will experience sexual abuse at some point in their lives. It has been nearly two decades since the Safer Options Train-the-Trainer was developed and held in Pennsylvania. One pivotal person behind this was Sharon Potter. She also served as the Sexuality Consultant for the Office of Developmental Programs (ODP). Safer Options provided pivotal information related to the treatment, supervision, and support for individuals with ID/DD and problematic or offending sexual behaviors. Since this program, we have learned a great deal more about sex offender screening and treatment.More importantly, we have recognized and learned to educate and support before offending (or victimization) problems arise. It’s critical to address issues on the front end before it becomes a crisis or issue of criminal offending. Those in our service system are faced with many complexities and challenges. Aspects related to sexuality are simply one challenge, but the pool of providers to address these issues is still very limited. This may be due to our comfort level, access to the information, or various other factors. Regardless, we want to provide a real opportunity for successful and lasting change and want to build capacity within the service system. Our podcast “Two Old Sexperts” began production in September 2022. We have over 1200 regular listeners in 19 countries. The feedback we have received, either in writing or through conversation, has been very positive. While this started as a fun collaboration, the short ride-in has shown us a lot more time and attention needs to be given to these areas of concern, and we want to be a support and a possible part of the solution. In response to the podcast, Shawn completed a small book entitled “Neurodiversity, Sexuality, and Gender Identity.” The book is now available, free of charge, to those who may need all of it or just parts of it. However, this is still not enough. For more information, please visit www.shawnmcgillmsw.com.

Sharon and I had the absolute pleasure of spending time with Dr. Michele Angello. Dr. Angello is an educator, therapist, consultant, and author who has paved the way to spotlight gender non-conformity and challenge our constructs related to gender. An issue so misunderstood and seemingly seen as so complex by many, Dr. Angello has tackled it head-on. Best said by Dr. Angello herself, "My dream is for all gender non-conforming kids, youth and adults to be understood not as unusual or pathological, but, viewed through a lens of reverence and respect, as valued members of the human race." And, of course, we all agreed that we want this same dream applied to those who have a range of disabilities and neurodiversity.

This brief episode notes what has been discovered while creating this podcast and why a slight shift in talks focusing on sexuality will be underway. When supporting fellow human beings, we must see the whole picture. When faced with challenges, we must be willing to evaluate ourselves and amplify any discrepancies or barriers that may be impeding progress.

The term "sex toys" seems to hold a negative connotation still. When we think about pleasuring the body or meeting physical and sexual needs, we must "think outside the box" and push our comfort zones. People with disabilities are not exempt from the very exact basic human needs.Mason Luke joins us to discuss how his two worlds, disability support and pleasure products, collide. More importantly, he guides us in challenging our taboos and openly thinking about and exploring how we can do more to support people with disabilities in finding their sexual pleasure.To find out more about Mason and his products, please visit www.pleasureallies.com.

Dementia is a neurological issue any person can be subject to. This includes those we love and support who are neurodiverse. As people are living longer and the prevalence of dementia continues to rise, those of us in the service system need support and information. In this episode, we talk with you about aspects related to dementia. It covers a wide range, such as changes in personality, progression with limited skills and abilities, and various behavior changes that can include sexual components.

For decades, we have been discussing and using the terms "Positive Approaches" or "Positive Practices," but do we know what they mean and how to employ the strategies when supporting a person? In this episode, we try to take you on a journey through information and stories to help people and organizations gain a better sense of understanding but also to challenge and encourage folks to use the practice with those they support and with each other as a whole system. Moral is low, the "staffing crisis" continues to get worse and worse, and people with disabilities are being warehoused in jails and prisons at an alarming rate. We must start the dialogue to uncover where we go from here to make real change.

In this episode, Sharon and Shawn talk through the critical importance of understanding and merging the use of positive approaches when working with people on sexuality and even trauma. Positive approaches does not mean giving a person whatever they want. It means understanding and supporting people on core clinical issues while recognizing that the relationship between the person and their supporters is the vehicle for change. We have to begin to work proactively, instead of responding reactively, if we genuinely want to make the change.

In this episode, we are joined by Bev Frantz. Bev guides us through a discussion about supporting those with non-traditional communication and how we can challenge ourselves and our systems to support better and advocate. This, however, may challenge us and the systems we work in. Everyone deserves a voice, but finding their voice may look different. Everyone also deserves an opportunity to learn about healthy sexuality, but the education approach may look slightly different. Nevertheless, both can be done.

In this episode, we delve more into trauma for those with disabilities. We share stories and try to help the listener be more mindful of what to look for and how to respond when separating trauma responses from "behaviors." The most critical piece is supporting a person to move through trauma. We know none of us can forget our past, but we want to be able not to let our history continue to gain so much control in our lives.

In this episode, we hit our own vulnerability by talking about loneliness. In a world where anyone is prone to this basic human feeling, despite our constant connection to people and the world, understanding how loneliness may impact those with disabilities is even more vital. In turn, we try to talk you through what loneliness may or may not look like and, more importantly, what we can consider doing, or at least try, to combat loneliness. My dear friend and fellow podcaster Sharon reminds us, "Be kind. Everyone is fighting a mighty battle." And just because I love her, I kept a little blooper in this episode to showcase our love and comradery. It's this that fills my heart with joy and spares me a little less loneliness during times when even I struggle ~Shawn

In today's episode, Sharon and Shawn talk with you about neurodiversity, gender identity, and sexual identity. We share what it all means, how you can better support people with disabilities to understand and explore these areas in their own lives, and also what you can do to change how people are understood and fully supported as they walk their journeys in life.

This episode walks you through basic sex education. We explore recommended education for grades K-12. In supporting those with disabilities, little to no information is often shared, and we must work backward. Regardless of age, we have due diligence to learn and pass on basic sex education so those we love, and support can live happier and more successful lives.

This podcast episode looks at romantic feelings those with disabilities may express, including feelings toward their paid supporters. We talk in-depth about navigating these feelings and situations and how to respond best if we find ourselves in a similar situation.

During this episode, we discuss two sexual consent screening tools used to support people with disabilities; The Verbal Informed Sexual Consent Tool (VISCAT) and the YAI sexual consent screening tool created in association with David Hingsburger.

Nancy Thaler, former deputy secretary for the Office of Developmental Programs (ODP), joins us to discuss sexuality policy. Guidelines have been established, but no policy is mandated in Pennsylvania. She talks us through ways to consider outreach, education, and training to continue the momentum of change as we navigate these complex waters.

Join Shawn McGill and Sharon Potter as they illustrate "The Cookie Sutra." This little visual book uses cookies to discuss and show various sexual positions. This helps talk through an understanding of different sex acts. This way, people know more about what they may choose to engage in and what they choose to abstain from. Following the book, we talk more about the importance of talking through and making sure people understand not just about sex acts but also about human sexuality in general.

In this episode, we talk about some of the safety concerns and risks related to the Internet, and ways to provide support and education to more successfully and safely wade through these waters.